Nanha Munna Rahi Hun

... so came my 4 yr old daughter singing from school one day! And I was totally taken in by surprise. When had I last heard that song? I tried to recall. Probably in the 80s, when DD was the only channel available and Chitrahaar was a popular family entertainment program. This cute kid in sepia would sing this song with full fervor. And to now hear my own daughter sing it after probably having heard it maybe 2 decades ago, well it was surreal! I had a silly grin on my face. She told me how her teachers were teaching all of them a bunch of songs. And when I asked her to sing the other songs that they had taught, she sang bits of 'Saare jahan se accha' and some from 'Hum honge kamiyab ek din'. This was in the first couple of days of August and of course it didn't take me long to realise that they were practicing for the Independence Day celebrations.

The sights, smells, sounds from childhood pretty much define home for me. As an adult, though the appeal changes and one seeks for other shores and other sights, the thought or the feeling of 'home' always kind of gives the warm fuzzy feeling. Some of the neighborhood sights of Bangalore, the feel of the lazy foggy mornings when Bangalore is still only waking up, the smell of the sampige, all define home for me. In the same way, though I was never raised in Kerala, the smell of the soil there, the total rustic scenes, the tunes of some of the native birds still manage to tingle this one corner of my heart. Similarly for my husband too, things that define home are, I am sure, pretty Indian. Why am I trying to define home? Let's look at it this way. What if we had continued staying in the US? Our kids would have assimilated the sights, sounds, smells of the place they are growing in. Nothing wrong with that. Just that those subtleties would have slowly defined 'home' for them. The sights and sounds in the US are something that we love too, but it would probably never feel like 'home', with such strong competition coming from various nooks and corners of our own childhoods; those are ingrained. And in this 'if' scenario, lets fast forward a few years. Our kids will still be our kids, but with a totally different concept of home, which is probably ok. But, I am quite sure it would not have been very ok for me. 'Home' is a lot more than a 4 letter word to me; 'kids' is another 4 letter word that means the world to me. And to have the kids not even remotely think of 'home' as anything that is 'home' for me would have probably been hard. I don't know. Maybe not too. I may have started defining it differently for myself also. Either way, I still would have had the warm fuzzy feeling for many things Indian, for things from my childhood here. We would have probably sent the kids to a bunch of Indian classes in the US, but unfortunately that would still not cut it, IMHO. And she may have never learnt to sing 'nanha munna'. :)

The world has changed a lot since when I grew up. So has India. Raising them here is still going to make the nuances that form childhood memories very different for them. Irrespective, at least there is hope that the 4 of us - kids, hub, and I - may end up having a couple of common things to identify our childhoods with. And in my old age, when I sit chatting with my daughter/son over some nice hot chai, if we can talk fondly about a couple of things from our past in Bangalore or India, then I am sure I will have our R2Iing decision to thank for hugely. :) What do you say?

Nanha munna rahi hun, desh ka sipahi hun,
Bolo mere sang, jai hind, jai hind, jai hind, jai hind, jai hind!

Happy Independence Day my fellow Indians! Happy 60th, dear India!

R2I - Work life, a sneak peek!

Please Note

1. The following points cannot be generalized; they are just based on my discussions with my husband + a few interactions with some of his friends who have also R2Ied.
   
2. All of them work for American tech companies in Bangalore. So, most of the points mentioned here only cover such a typical set-up.

Age: One of the aspects that stands out is the average age of the employees - much younger when compared to the average in a typical US office. Hard to say if this is good or bad, but certainly different! The slightly experienced (3-5 years) software professionals are still aiming for opportunities abroad. In an MNC, it is quite common to find the bulk of the middle management to be an R2I crowd, i.e. a crowd that has spent a significant portion of its work life outside of India.

Work Hours: The good thing is that there are really no "working hours". Most of the employees typically start coming in at around 10.00 AM and end up staying late, whether it is required or not. However, based on what I hear, sticking to your preferred work hours is doable if you are disciplined.
In general, if you are particular about spending quality time with your family, you can communicate with your team about your preferred timings, so that they can plan for meetings etc during the hours that work for you. Typically, it is up to you to convey that you will not be able to attend meetings or discussions that are outside of your preferred work hours.
Sticking to your time is more doable if you are an independent contributor than a manager working in tandem with a team. The good thing is a lot more companies are opening up to the value of individual contributors.
Late night or early morning conference calls that you can attend to from home are a given; a majority of the work at middle-senior level will almost always involve working very closely with partners, colleagues, or clients in other countries.

Commute: On commute, less said the better! You have the choice of living close to your work place, which will work well. And if you cannot do that, you can choose to commute during off-peak hours - before 8.00 AM or after 10.30 AM and before 5.00 PM or after 9.30 PM. My husband leaves home at around 7.30 AM and starts from work at around 5.00 PM and it seems to definitely be working for him, since we cannot live close to his work for other reasons.

Work Culture: Apparently, things are more "casual" at work in general than in the US. People seem to chat and “hang out" more than in a typical office in the US, where people are a lot more focused. This may be relaxing or distracting, whichever way you choose to look at it.
For people who have not worked in India before: Typically people do not address their seniors as ‘Sir / Madam’ in this industry.
In general, there seems to be an eagerness to want the title of a 'manager'. It looks to predominantly be a cultural issue; it is kind of considered that you have “arrived” if you are a manager and have people reporting to you. However, this is slowly changing - where some of them seem to be opting for the role of individual contributors and are also more comfortable with the responsibilities that come with it.
And if there's a cricket match going on (especially an interesting one), things are a lot more flexible. You know how it is with cricket!!

Travel - Overseas/India: Travel of some sort is always a given. And if you are back with work experience from abroad, you are very likely going to be traveling overseas to meet your teams, clients almost on a regular basis. This cannot be avoided too much, and is part of the deal!

Interiors & Facilities: On the whole, very nice office spaces and interiors. In most of the offices, the cubicles are designed to seat 2, 3, or 4 people. Some companies do provide individual cubicles, however these are few and far between. Many companies provide gyms, pool tables, ping-pong tables, carrom boards, fooz ball tables, etc.

Cafeteria: There is good food for lunch in the cafeteria. Usually, you get really good Indian food. Some offices apparently have 3 different counters - one for North Indian, one for South Indian and the another serving "diet" food! (My husband wishes that they serve desi Chinese at his place of work! I am quite sure there are companies where they do this too.) In certain campuses that house multiple companies, there are food courts where different cuisines are served. In general the peak lunch hour is between 1.00 and 2.00 PM.

Please add your own experiences/thoughts in the comments section.

Going forth, I will be writing about work opportunities for R2Iers and also taking a general look at the market salaries for the returning Indians. Watch the R2Blore space!

R2I - Bangalore: Everyday commute options

Before coming to the conclusion that cars are your only option for everyday commute after R2Iing, let us assess all the other available options. The only public transport that Bangalore has right now is the bus. There are a few kinds of buses for public transport; the absolutely basic blue-colored BMTC buses that you see in the pic below, the slightly better Pushpak buses, and the luxury Volvo buses. Unfortunately, the frequency of these buses and the rush of people in them will make you want to turn the other way when it comes to relying on them on a day-to-day basis. If you are a concerned citizen of the globe and want to really use public transport, you may have to wait for the Namma Metro project to complete. The Metro is made to seem like an all-in-all problem solver to our woes. Like always, I will wait and watch before getting too excited! Also, this project has recently kick-started, so we do have a long way to go.

Since there is almost no public transport option for now, you can consider relying on company provided transport for your commute to work. A lot of the companies provide real nice, comfy buses/vans for pick-up and drop-off. The only downside is that you will have to stick to their timings. But, I do know of people who are able to make this option work for them.

The next option would be a 2-wheeler. If you have been away from India for a while, riding a 2-wheeler may or may not be possible for you. Now, if you are going to be the dare-devil to try a 2-wheeler amidst this traffic, then the next deterrent is going to be the pollution levels, especially at peak hours. The smog will make you squirm on your 2-wheeler seat. My husband was one of those that considered a 2 wheeler for his regular office commute, mostly because he was going to be saving a little bit of time. Obviously, your ability to maneuver is far better on a narrow vehicle. Also you occupy much less space on an already crowded/narrow road, and in turn will help the insane traffic in your own small way. But after the initial few days of observing the traffic patterns, he just gave up the idea! :)
When I see all the bike guys halting at the red-light and balancing their 2-wheelers with their feet on the ground, I worry for the safety of their feet. One of my cousins was at the red light with her feet on the ground, and an auto just went over her right foot. Thankfully, the damage was minimal. Since all the vehicles are just inches away from you or your vehicle, the thought is scary. What if it was a bus that had gone over her foot? And of course, there are still others who have had many a fall from their 2-wheelers. Not to mention the inconvenience during the rains.

If you want to use the autos for your everyday commute, you will have to again cover your nose for the entire to and fro journey because of the vehicular exhausts. Whenever I take an auto, after a few kilometres I notice a fairly distinct smell in my hair; all the exhaust fumes taking their toll! The exhaust fumes also make me feel squeamish. The other factor of course is the meters - you may not want to see the auto meter reading all kinds of numbers, since most of the meters are rigged.

A sea of autos. Notice how our rear-view mirror is broken (bottom left corner of the pic).
A simple mishap when one of the other cars was very close to ours!

Your final option is the car. And because of the unbelievable traffic on the roads, owning a small sized car becomes a necessity as compared to owning a bigger one; your ability to maneuver on the already clogged Bangalore roads is a little better with a smaller one. And of course, you have the option of owning a 2nd, bigger, nicer, family car for your weekends and out-of-town drives since the freeways are quite good. Wouldn't you agree about the small sized car? Or is there any other way to look at everyday commute? Would love to hear your thoughts, more so because I like to encourage a more public friendly commute.

On R2Iing, buying a car will be one of your crucial decisions. The good thing is, there is a fair amount of choice for cars in the market, and definitely so for small sized cars. 'Cars' is an exhaustive topic and I will cover all the options available, over a period of time. I will write about the available small cars in the market when I write about cars next. I will also write about the available cars based on their sizes and their prices subsequently.

An R2I Tip: The traffic is really bad; can't stress enough. See pic below. If you are sure about your R2I plans, then the one thing you can already do is to slowly start losing your attachment to your cars/roads there. Things will not be the same here and preparing yourself for it in advance helps. And when you do get stuck in traffic here, you will have the choice of not letting it affect you. That way, YOU still have the power! And you can take that time to think about your true reasons for coming back. :)

Clogged traffic on Bangalore roads - A common sight

PS: If I sounded preachy in the last para, please excuse me. I hate sounding preachy!

Summer of '07

(Alright, so I have Bryan Adams and his 'Summer of 69' in my head as I type the title of the post. Let it stay that way.)

Since the time I went off to the US, I planned all my trips to India during Decembers or Julys, just to skip being here in the summers, not a huge fan of the heat or the humidity. Also, since we had to make a few trips to other places within India during our short India trips, I was keen to avoid the Indian summers. In fact, when we decided to R2I for good, the Indian summer was a concern for me! I hate humidity that much. Anyway, now that we have been through a summer here in Bangalore, I am glad to say that it wasn't too bad. Bangalore was hot and we did complain about the temperatures during the peak; in fact for about a month or so, it was pretty hot. But we were lucky to get some rains and the temps cooled off tremendously, especially since the rest of the country was struggling through heat waves. We were blessed to have some tolerable temps, sometimes making it quite pleasant too. We realised this more so when we traveled to other much hotter places.

Some near-perfect days

Flora: Only when I was actually here, did I realise the familiar summer floral sights that I was missing being away. Not that I missed them particularly when I was actually away, because California has beautiful flora too. Spring would be awash with various hues and some lovely colors. This summer, here in Bangalore, the Gulmohar, Queen's Flower, Copper Pod, etc were everywhere. The splash of colors was beautiful and the Gulmohar seemed redder than in the past; almost like organic coral sprinkled against the clear blue summer skies.

The resplendent Gulmohar lining the streets, making for some very pretty sights

Fruits: The summer fruits in India are a delight - mango, jackfruit, guava, musk melon, papaya, pineapple, chickoo, palmyra (kAti nongu) etc. Though mango is the king of fruits, and summer is the peak season for all its varieties, I have this weakness for jackfruits. And I hadn't eaten any in all the years that I was out of India. So, I made up for the loss this summer! The nice thing was both my kids took to jackfruits as well. So, I had some nice, crazy company to enjoy this (strange) fruit. Jackfruits always remind me of all my summer vacation spent in my ancestral native, Kerala! Just the thought of Kerala conjures up a splash of beautiful images that mean nothing but home - my beautiful exotic home! Though I am a Bangalorean at heart, Kerala will always be home for my soul. The absolute rustic scenes, the down-to-earth temples surrounded by mystique, and of course the food! Thankfully, the jackfruits were aplenty this season in Bangalore and I had a ball, to say the least!

Yummy Yum Yum!!

We enjoyed some kAti nongu too. Some of the vendors take the fruits out right in front of you like the vendor in this picture.

Summer Camp: Our (then) almost 4 year old daughter went to a summer camp for 3 weeks and within walking distance! I wanted something close by and there was one at the nearest Ramana Maharshi Center. What is unbelievable is the kind of positive influence just the 3 weeks there had on her. She used to take at least about 3 hours to relax and start interacting with non-family members. After the 3 weeks at their summer camp, she was quite comfortable talking to everybody and in a 'nice' way. I am thrilled with this development. At the end of the summer camp, all the children put up a nice show for the parents and family members at their auditorium. Splendid! Our daughter learnt a few of their shlokas, some small dance sequences, and some good social skills. I am thrilled! The summer camp was for 3 hours, 6 days a week for 3 weeks. I paid a whopping amount of Rs. 100/-!!! Unbelievable! (A lot of the commercial places and private schools hold summer camps for 2 weeks or so and charge more than Rs. 2000/-) Overall, she had a lot of fun and loved her summer camp!

Not being sure of how the summer would go, at the end of it, I am happy to say that it went off very well. Isn't that nice .... when you are not sure of how something is going to turn out and later realise that things actually went off well? Applies to all things in life, doesn't it? :)

R2I - Together time

Since R2Iing, my husband and I have been able to get some time to ourselves, here in Bangalore. In the US, after the arrival of our second one, we hardly got any time for ourselves. It was one chore after another. I had my hands way too full. And I didn't feel comfortable hiring baby sitters for the kids just so that hub and I could step out. That meant that we had to take the kids along wherever we went, and can you imagine the torment that was for the two of us and the kids! Sigh! It was alright when it was just one child, we did manage to get away on road trips, and even on a cruise once. But, with the second one coming into the household, it was almost impossible for the two of us to actually have time for ourselves. If the kids were older, I am sure any of our wonderful bay area neighbors would have been glad to keep the kids for a while when we stepped out. But, the kids were young and we were really not sure if they would have been on their own with anybody else. But here, things are quite different. Since we have my parents near by, and since they are ever so willing to watch the kids, it is so easy to get a little 'together time'. A dinner or a drive or even a movie together! Especially a dinner, it was such a joke trying to step out with the 2 young'uns. It was so much of work to get the kids fed, that we would hardly even be left with an appetite.

Yesterday, for instance, I decided to go, meet my husband at the end of his work day. His office is half way across town. Given that we have a driver now, (I had mentioned here about hiring one) I did not have to worry about getting to the place in peak traffic. Mid-way, it began to rain. And boy, what a downpour that was!? Nothing was even visible and the roads were almost flooded. See pic below to get an idea.
But, I had no worry in the world. The kids were home with my parents and the wheel was in the driver's hands. All I had to do was sit back and enjoy the rains! Such carefree joy! And then, when I met my hub, we went out to this nice Italian place that my husband has been insisting on taking me to. This restaurant, 'Little Italy', was really nice. And through the entire dinner, I was neither worried nor feeling obligated about the kids being with my parents! Here's a pic of the dessert, only because it was lovely!

Brownie, Vanilla ice cream, with sizzling hot chocolate sauce. Who knew brownie was available in India?!

It is also this same 'together time' that we enjoyed in the initial years of our marriage in Calif .... that which I will always cherish. Those were some of the best years of our lives, with travels, on-the-spur-of-the-moment road trips, drives, movies, dinners etc., and to get some of that back is wonderful! Yes, the traffic is crazy, the place ... noisy, and yes the roads have tons of potholes, but if you do get a little time to yourselves with a dash of romance, the rest shouldn't matter too much. ;) What say?

PS: To my readers who are looking for core R2I info, those posts are coming as well! :)

Funny!

While in the US, hubby and I liked certain brands and one of the brands that we preferred for him was the 'Timberland', especially their shoes for guys. So, he has a few pairs of those. These are primarily designed for the outdoors. He has this particular pair that is quite rugged and cool-looking and he prefers wearing these with his jeans, even to work sometimes.

Now, here in Bangalore, he has this American colleague at work. And sometime last week when that colleague noticed this pair of shoes, with a smile, he asked my hub, "You expecting snow anytime soon?". And the outside temps were in the warm 90s (Fahrenheit) !

When he mentioned it to me, well, we had a hearty laugh ...

The disappointment

Indian politics has been a source of distress for a very long time. We see a few moments of spark at times, and then these sparks die just like the fireflies. I am not thrilled blogging about this, because it is very disheartening.

From the late 1989 - mid 1991 and from mid 1996 - early 1998, when we had multiple Prime Ministers for short durations, I felt very unsettled and disappointed. I was just a teenager during the 89-91 phase, and kind of felt like nobody cared about the masses. It was clear that people came to power for their own selfish reasons. Anyway, then there was some "stability" from 1991 - 1996. And then again we went through a few Prime Ministers over a course of 2 years from 1996 -1998. There was wastage of national money and to think that the very people who were not responsible for their actions and were indulging in 'by-the-minute' coalitions also had the power in their hands was pretty scary! The lack of accountability and the nonchalance were glaring. Now, all of this instability happened right around the time of my cross-over from adolescence to adulthood, and looking back I can see how that phase has a big influence on our perspective of the world around us. The political instability brought about a basic distrust. I had become quite cynical and indifference seemed like the only way out. I was happy to get out of the country, happy to go away to far away America.

While in the US, I was content to just keep track of the happenings in India from a distance. And over a period of time we got involved with the events in the US. We discussed and analysed the political scenario there - Clinton's 2nd term, Bush vs Gore, Gray Davis vs Arnold Schwarzenegger, Iraq war, the varied allegations against Karl Rowe etc. It was an involvement from my head (and not from my heart) and some of the emotions that I experienced were intrigue, anger, sarcastic awe (!) etc. Interestingly, I never 'felt' like how I did while in India; betrayed or cheated or anything as basic as that. Mostly because, as Indians, I don't think we can ever get affected by politics anywhere else as much as we do here. It is just the sense of belonging showing up, I guess.

Since R2Iing, a lot of things have been going on here in Indian politics. And with the recent forced resignation of Dayanidhi Maran over a family feud, the Prime Minister having no say at all in the matter and being at the receiving end of the coalition forces' whims, the feeling of disappointment is returning. (As an aside, it is funny to see how President Kalam is all for the 2-party system, and in the US, people want more choices and not be left with just the republicans and the democrats.) Slowly, I can see that all those feelings that I left behind are creeping back in. At the end of the day, I can sense the same cynicism, and the same indifference. Sad, but true. Sad, because personally I think indifference is the most harmful. Somehow, the years away in the US had helped keep the earlier negative feelings away. I am discovering that the feelings are right there, around the corner, waiting to peep out and give a grand show, at the behest of those in power.

PS: These 3 paragraphs have been quite hard to work on. I know a couple of you were wondering why I hadn't posted anything. From the time the 'Maran' issue cropped up, I have been working on this post!

Life, death, and everything in between

Being a fairly young Indian couple in the US, hub and I were friends with people in similar age groups. In fact, I think the oldest person we were friends with in the US was in his late 30s! I doubt if we socialised with anybody in their 40s or older! This was not by design, but just the way things ended up being. Now, obviously death is not a very 'in the face' thing for people in that age group. All we spoke about was the opportunities in the tech world, start-ups, stock market, kids, schools, day-cares, weekend getaways, and the like. Not really vain, but definitely not covering the gamut of life. The only older people we got to mingle with were the older parents of our friends and relatives who were there on a vacation. And even then the topics spoken with them were fairly limited. It would typically be about their tickets, airlines, air travel experiences, immigration, comparisons between India and the US, their failing health, etc.

When it was just the two of us, all this was quite perfect for us. And, because we spoke often to our own parents back home, we would hear of other happenings in our extended families, and neighborhoods. But, after my daughter was about 2 years old, and when she started grasping things around her, I was quite sure that the limited social exposure was just not going to be enough in the long run. Yes, she was going to grow up and meet her own friends and get involved in their lives, but still I really wanted the kids to get involved in the myriad of life's experiences that a place like India offers, more so because we have our family in India. One of the very important events that made this a certainty for me was when one of my uncles in India died. Typically, there are multitudes of ceremonies and rituals that happen after somebody passes away. And if you are in the immediate family circle, you take part in most of these rituals. Now, why are these ceremonies important? I am not sure I am aware of the significance of the exercises themselves; however I know that these events make strong impressions in our minds, and such impressions are very important to our own growing self. When I was a young child, I lost my grandfathers, both in a period of 2 years. I was at an impressionable phase, and I was part and parcel of the happenings around me. When my paternal grandfather died, we had to rush to our native place, because my dad was the eldest son, and hence he had a lot of responsibilities back home. This happened in March, just before my 6th standard exams were to start. Now, I was one of those school toppers, and academics was the most important thing in my life or that is the way it had been laid out for me. But, when my grandfather passed away, we dropped everything, took permission from school and just went. Somehow, that helped put certain things into perspective then, and continues to even now. The entire family had gotten together under one roof and we all went through the motions for those 13 days. I was just a child, but a very observant one. Death is anything but scary even to this day because of those few days in my life. And personally for me, I did not want my kids to miss out on such of life's experiences. There is more to life than what meets the eye! Death is definitely one of the vital aspects of life. I definitely didn't want 'death' to be just a concept; something that happened to distant relatives in a faraway land called India, or what happened to innocent victims of random crazy acts in the US.

Another big factor is, in India, not everybody we know is in the tech industry. We know different kinds of people having different kinds of successes and struggles in life. Again, in the US, within our own immediate tech circle, it was going to be very difficult to bring in a variety for our kids. There were probably 2 kinds of people we knew amongst our bay area Indian friends - the fairly well off and the very well off. But here, I am glad that we know people in all strata/classes of society. My kids get to see my maid and her family at close quarters, and then some relatives who continue to live in our native places and leading very different lives than ours, and yet some that are right here in the city and still leading a very different (read non-tech) life. I cannot be anything but thankful for this exposure that they are able to get without any added effort. I really wanted the kids to grow up with empathy. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to provide the required environment there.

In the bay area, almost all of us threw wonderful birthday parties for the kids. The kids, like butterflies, could flutter from one party to another. Each one giving and receiving tons of wonderful gifts. Every kid’s parents being able to afford it all. That was limiting, very limiting. Also, one of the reasons to return back when the kids were really young; before they start missing out on the "good" things after we returned to India.

The uniformity of every Indian family we knew in the US was very good in its own way. We didn't have to think twice about what was appropriate and what was not. We could talk the same kinds of things with everybody, and have "intellectual" conversations with everybody we knew. That had its own charm. But when it comes to raising the kids, we do have the responsibility of exposing them to varieties of things. Also, the reason why I am not ticked off at the lack of infrastructure here. I really think it is alright to grow up with some short-comings in our immediate surroundings. Nothing wrong with that! We grew up with many, many more, and turned out fairly balanced, IMHO! To not have a little electricity from time to time, to use water wisely, and to not have everything great around you in general, can only add value to their little lives.

All that said, there's really no easy formula to raise kids. Here or there, as parents, we have to go through our own battles to raise our kids, and to raise them well. Hopefully, this decision of moving back will be one of those factors that helps us. Keeping my fingers crossed...

Would love to hear your thoughts.

Hardly any answering machines!

If you have gotten used to the answering machines in other parts of the world, it will take you a while to get used to the never-ending ringing on the other end of the phones here in India. Typically, there aren't any answering machines. Surprisingly, the cell phone services do not include the answering machines by default! In fact, my hub got the answering machine service for his cell, but nobody left him a message because they were not used to it! So, he just went ahead and cancelled it. Sometimes, it gets a little frustrating, because you just have to call back the person when you could have just left a message.

Interestingly, there's this concept of 'missed call.' (Some of you reading this may be familiar with it.) Typically, if a person is at work or some place where s/he has access to make 'free' calls, people call her/his mobile and let it ring once and cut the call. That person then realises that s/he has had a missed call from a so-and-so and calls the person back from the 'free' phone and now both can talk without having to pay for it from either ends! Amazing use of technology!

6 months later - An R2I look back

We recently completed 6 months of stay in Bangalore. Overall, I don't think there were any major surprises. But for a person planning on an R2I, I think what would be of more interest are the things that we missed the most on returning. I expected to miss and do miss all of the following:

1. Roads and regulated traffic - The city traffic situation and the road conditions are so bad that going out is not in the least bit pleasant, unlike in the US. No amount of writing about it will paint a picture of how the traffic situation actually is. Whenever I have to step out, I try to almost always do it in the non-peak hours. Luckily, I have the freedom. Unfortunately, my husband who works outside of home has no choice but to navigate the traffic at peak hours. He is actually a very good driver and almost always has driven in India whenever we came here for our vacations. However, these days he is considering getting a driver to help him out. Lets see. Here's a pic from Wikipedia of a city road in SF bay area.
2. I terribly miss the sidewalks and the lovely walks I enjoyed when we were there. The pic on the right shows a typical sidewalk in the SF bay area. Here, unless you live in a huge community that offers some kind of walking/jogging track, it really is no fun! Sidewalks are non-existent or illegally used leaving the pedestrians to use the roads for walking. The traffic situation is so bad that you have to think twice before stepping on the roads. Add 2 little kids to the equation! Gosh! I am glad we will be moving into a community that promises some of these facilities, because the city doesn't offer the pedestrian any infrastructure. You are really on your own out there in the cramped, jostling city jungle.
   
3. Pictures of beautiful parks in Cali is all I have left here. There are some parks in a few neighborhoods here. However, after having enjoyed the lush manicured lawns, the ponds and the ducks, the children's play area, picnic tables, rest-rooms of the parks in the US, it is difficult not to miss 'em. The park you see in the pic below, well we lived right opposite to it.
4. The entire family misses the public libraries that you find in the US and in almost every city in the SF bay area. I often find myself salivating at the thought of those libraries. The innumerable number of books on every subject, DVDs, CDs, videos, children's books, children's learning material, the quiet, the rest-rooms, the views from the reading areas. Sigh! I would take the kids every week, and we would pick loads of age-appropriate books for both the kids. The kids enjoyed picking them out themselves. The easy use of the online library sites that helped us put things on hold, search the library catalog, etc. And to think that the whole thing was for free! How can anybody not miss it? (I do not have a pic of the Santa Clara city library. If you have one, and if you don't mind me using it for this post, please send it to me.)
   
5. Lastly, I definitely miss the doctors back in the US. Yes, I did write here about how cheap the medical care facility was, which I still think is the case. For regular everyday issues, it is still alright to go to the neighborhood doc and quickly get a prescription for our illness. However, the experience of a visit to the doc's office in the US is not available here. We had an exceptional pediatrician when we were there. He was good at his job and was wonderful with the kids. We were so pumped with general knowledge of how a child must be doing at every well-baby check! It was almost a disaster here, when we went for our second kid's 2 year well baby check, because of how little the doctor spoke to us about how our child was doing overall, and if he was meeting all the 2 year milestones.
   

Adding a few more points from my comments, about the docs there: (Apr 18th 5:15pm) Docs there are easily accessible over the phone whenever you have a question. During both my pregnancies, I was able to talk to my Ob/Gyn whenever I wanted. With both our kids, the pediatrician was so good about returning my calls whenever I called in with a question, that I always felt comfortable about their reliable service. There really is no such procedure in place here for our calls etc. Nurses there are available 24/7 via phones. And when you have 2 young children, you almost always have a question to run by them! All our docs talked to us and acknowledged that we were educated adults who could understand what they were talking about. Their bedside manners is commendable. And my childbirths, well I cannot thank the hospital and the nursing staff enough for my wonderful experiences both the times. The nurses are so dedicated, and the hospitals so clean.

Also, the use of computers in all doctors' offices. Your 'case' is always stored away and nothing will ever be forgotten, either with your prescriptions or your diagnosis. Especially helpful when it comes to the kids, since their growth charts and general progress are all so well maintained. It is the insurance procedures that are a pain, but the docs themselves are wonderful. We have had to go to a few specialists, and we have had good experiences there too.

So, in all these 6 months, what has been worth coming back to?

1. Family. It has been wonderful to meet our folks as often as we have. Nothing to beat the closeness, and it is so light on our nerves being physically near and not worrying about their health problems from half a globe away.
2. Hub and I also think that India offers multiple work/business opportunities to do anything that we may want to. Whether we will make use of the opportunities or not remains to be seen, but at least we are in a happening place. :) And to think that the happening place is in our own country is exciting, to say the least!
   
3. All the manual help that we can get very easily here. A maid, or a driver, a cleaner, a painter, a carpenter are all very easy to find and very affordable. Since, you tend to do most of the chores in the US by yourself, sometimes it is so hard to have a life what with the kids needing your attention too amidst it all.
4. No extra effort to get the kids to talk in their mother tongue. We have neighbors who talk the same mother tongue as us, and then the grand-parents and all the relatives. Helps with their sense of belonging too.
5. Access to a whole range of alternative medical sciences. There's ayurveda, homeopathy, siddha, unani, and tons more. This works for somebody like me who doesn't believe in popping a pill for most anything. I am glad we have access to so many more treatment options, and not worry about insurance coverage to heal ourselves!
   
6. For me personally, the temples! Not all, just those that truly matter to me. In the US, I could not relate to the temples at all, just the knowing that they were fairly new and didn't have a "history". Yes, some of the temples there are about 25+ years old, but really nothing like a thousand year old temple. I can relate better to the 'Gods' in such old temples. Yes, if you believe in God, you also know that God is probably everywhere and without form, but the visit to some of these temples does make a difference in the way I feel. And for not an overtly spiritual person like myself, the 'extras' definitely help. And to think that I do not have to cram up all those visits in a month long visit is wonderful. As an added bonus, the kids love meeting the elephants in these old temples! :)

As a concluion, I think coming back has been good. Though I do miss the things that I have listed, and will most likely continue to miss them, I definitely enjoy the pluses. Also, I think I am happier(?)! There, so that's what it is after 6 months! :) Your comments/reactions please.

R2I - Tips for an R2I move

In my previous post, I made a list of things that you can take and some that you don't need to take with you if you are winding down and returning to India for good. On the same lines, here's another post with some pointers for your move back home. Some of which maybe useful to you.

1. Do you have kids? Would you be carrying back diapers for them? If so, use all the diapers that you will be taking back for future use as fillers in packing. They keep everything in place and provide good support! :) That's what we did, and everything came back in perfect shape, almost exactly like how we had packed it back home.
2. I had already mentioned the shipping service that we used here. They are called WorldWide Ocean and Air Shipping Lines Inc. We didn't have any issues either in the US or in Bangalore. When the boxes arrived in Bangalore, they called hub. He went to the warehouse where custom officials checked the boxes. All this was very easy and there were no problems whatsoever. I have also heard from others that all shipping companies do a good job and typically make it all very easy for the customers.
3. It took exactly 2 months for the boxes to arrive in Bangalore. So, definitely pack the stuff you need for the first 2 months in your suitcases.
   
4. Do see if you can ship your stuff a little ahead of your flying out. The reason is, if the boxes are shipped out, then you can focus on your suitcases. Will contain the chaos. :) We shipped almost 2 weeks ahead of flying out.
5. I took care of most of the selling and giving away of the stuff in our Calif home. I used 'Craigslist' tremendously for selling things. You almost get buyers for everything.
   
6. I was also a member in the local 'Freecycle'. So anything that I wasn't selling and that my friends also didn't need or want, I gave it away to people in the Freecycle mailing list. Very useful!
7. Another helpful tip: We sold both our cars on Sulekha. Initially, we tried selling them on Craigslist, but that didn't work. Dealers list their cars for selling on Craigslist. This clogs the listings on Craigs Autos a lot. However, on Sulekha it was very easy to find Indian buyers who were honest and who made it easy for us. Typically, they also let you keep your car till the last day and arrage for picking it up only when you are completely done! Awesome, eh?
   
8. It will get pretty hectic over the last few weeks; especially the last couple of days. However, do make time to visit your friends and relatives for a goodbye. I think we enjoyed that the best. :)

Anything else? Do let me know.

R2I - What to take and what not to take?

If you are planning on an R2I, one of the things you will find yourself wondering about is what to take back and what not to take back. Though I may not be able to provide a comprehensive list, I can paint a picture of what is available here and what is not.

What to take

1. Definitely toys. The same toys here cost you double of what it would cost you in USD there. For example, a Fisher Price magno-doodle board costs about $15 (Rs. 690) in Calif, but costs about Rs. 1500 here! So, I really put toys over and above everything else! Really, it is a great deal for you to shop there and ship, than to buy them here! I would also recommend getting Ryan's Room's toys only because they would be very unique here, and I have not seen anything like that here.
   
2. Stuff from Ikea, if you like Ikea things. Please limit it to smaller things, like useful things around the kitchen (place mats, heat pads, spice racks etc) or for the bathroom. Some knick-knacks maybe. As for furniture pieces, you can get them custom made from an Ikea catalogue!! It is sad, but true. You get lots of Ikea furniture replicas here.
3. If you like and use the reusable kitchen towels, then definitely those because I haven't seen any of those here. I find those VERY useful to keep all the counter surfaces clean.
4. Branded clothes for the whole family, if you want. The same stuff is more expensive here. You do get Dockers, Levis, and the like, here. However, you are so much better off shopping at an outlet mall there.
5. Good quality children's clothes are expensive here, compared to the US. You can consider buying a few bigger sizes of clothes for the kids from Mervyn's, The Children's Place etc when they have a sale going on. Clothes here are cheaper compared to Gymboree. :) Just trying to give an idea about the pricing here. But the quality of clothes there is definitely so much better for children.
   
6. You do get varieties of microwavable and air-tight box containers here for the kitchen. However, just for style, maybe you can get a few from there.
7. Branded perfumes. I have seen some malls carry branded perfumes here. In fact, I have seen Hugo Boss here. However, I have not seen Chanel, Burberry, Prada, etc.
8. If you have cell phones that will work in India, definitely do not leave them behind.
9. If you like anything in particular from Bed, Bath and Beyond, Cost Plus, Discovery Channel store, or any of those specialty stores.
10. Bedding sets. We liked the comforters and fitted sheets, so we got a few of those. But otherwise, you do get some lovely bedding sets here. However, I am yet to see any fitted sheets anywhere here.
11. Medical and dental records. Typically, you will have to apply for them at your doc's office. The offices will need about a week or so to process your request.
12. Consider taking back with you a US phone number. It will be especially useful for the first few months after coming to India. You can get a VoIP service such as Vonage, which works with any broadband service in India. You get a US telephone number and calls to any number in the US are free. Calls to Canada, UK, Italy, Spain and a few more countries are free too. This helps you "feel" connected even after the move. The usage of such a service itself is in the grey, here. Some say it is illegal. So, please do it at your discretion.
    
13. Lastly, all things that are close to your heart. If you are sentimental about anything, please pack 'em and don't think twice. You may not forgive yourself later. :)

What not to take

1. Furniture. Bangalore has really come far in terms of style and variety. There are tons of fantastic furniture stores and you get tons of really good pieces. You can skip bringing furniture from the US. By skipping the furniture, you can keep the volume of your shipping down.
2. Kitchen pots and pans. You get tons and truckloads here. You can skip the Corelle kinds of tableware, cause you do get those right here.
3. Mattress - I wanted to very badly lug ours across the globe. But we didn't. I am glad, cause we got to choose from some very good ones here.
4. If you are paying for the shipping, I would suggest you skip carrying back TV sets, refrigerators, washing machines, dish washers etc, because you do get all kinds and varieties here. If the shipping is paid for, then carry back anything you want. I must add though, you do get very good plasma and LCD televisions here.

Hope this helps. And if you are wondering about anything in particular, let me know and I will add it to this list.

R2I - I spoke too soon

... here. We arrived in Oct '06 and were doing well for about 5 weeks, and have been continuously sick ever since. Amongst the 4 of us, we have fallen sick 13 times in 7 weeks!!! Unbelievable! I am tired, being sick myself or having to care for sick kids everyday for the last few weeks. My older one has hardly fallen sick in the US, and is now compenating for all that. We have been passing the virus around and the cycle seems to be endless. Since the start of winter in November, the weather has been varying a lot in a course of 24 hours. Cold at night and pretty warm during the day.

Having my parents close by has been the biggest boon. I have no clue how I could have possibly managed without them.

PS: If you are planning on relocating, please allot a few months just to get your bodies adjusted to the local climate. I am not sure when we are all going to actually be absolutely fine, but I am really hoping it is going to be soon.

R2I - Extremely affordable medical care, comparatively

So, I fell ill. Nothing major. Just a temperature, with a very bad throat, and dry cough. I was hoping it would heal on its own, mostly cause I don't typically like to got to the docs, and kind of hope for the body to fight the infection by itself. Anyway, this time around, I had to go to a doc, cause it got really bad. So, I went to this doc that my mom recommended highly. I liked the doc, talking was easy with her, and the diagnosis was quick. As I was leaving, I asked her how much was her fee? I was blown-over when she said "Rs. 30/-" (65 cents)! However, I must agree that her office was pretty basic and had no pleasing interiors, unlike a typical doctor's office in the U.S. The prescribed medicines cost me Rs. 120/- ($2.6!), now this included an antibiotic as well. Overall, it cost me $3.25!

In the US, with the PPO plan we had, I would have to just pay a co-pay of $15 at the doctor's office and about $5-10 as co-pay for the antibiotic. The cough syrup would have probably been covered 100%. Anyway, this is just from my purse. The insurance would have been charged 100s for the whole thing!!! Where is $3.25 and where's 100s of dollars?

We had to take my kids a while ago to a pediatrician. We took them to one of repute. We were pretty happy with his office/setup, his interaction with the kids, the speed of diagnosis etc. Each visit cost us Rs. 150/- ($3.25) and the total cost of medicines for bothe kids about Rs. 200/- ($4.35). Overall costing us a total of $10.85 for both my kids, consultaion and medicines inclusive. In the US, 2 consultations would have a co-pay of $30, and the meds probably fully covered, cause there was no anti-biotic.

And here's the clincher, all of this medical expenditure is covered 100% by my hub's company, where as in the US the co-pay is from our pocket. So, the same exercise cost me $0 here, and would have cost me about $55 there! And this is only for a regular cold+fever. If it was anything more, and required a slight procedure, then what would cost about a couple of thousands of rupees (approximately $50), will cost thousands of dollars in the U.S. And in the PPO insurance plan we had, we would have to pay upto 20% of the total expenditure and other hospital fees. Sometimes it makes you wonder how much fluff encompasses the actual medical cost there.

"Iron-man" at your service

A few days ago I wrote about the common services that you can enjoy at your doorstep in Bangalore, here. But I consciously did not write about the ironing service, because THIS service deserved its own post. I am not really dependant on this service, preferring to just iron my clothes at home. My husband, however, is a true appreciator of the "iron-man". Hub has always HATED ironing his shirts and trousers, mostly cause he found it extremely painful to get the creases right. I am sure a lot of us will agree that men's clothes are so much harder to iron than women's. In the SF bay area, he often wore clothes that were either easy to iron, or those that retained some from a previous wear! However, here he is getting spoilt silly!
Typically, this service has a "working model". It is mostly family run, with all the nuclear family members involved with one setup. The 'iron-family' that has our area under its "jurisdiction" consists of 3 people - dad, mom, and a young son. There is an unsaid law amongst the 'iron-men'. They don't infringe on the next guy's area/customers. This family always comes to our street early every Sunday morning. Their usual spot is under a particular tree on the pavement. The boy goes to the homes of his regular customers and collects clothes for ironing. He does not pain the others who are not his usual customers by begging for business. However, others are welcome to give him their clothes if they want to.

He then takes the collected clothes to their mobile ironing board, which is nothing but the flat push cart that is used by street hawkers and vendors. A couple of huge and heavy iron boxes heated with coal accompany the board. They fill the heated coal from the top of the iron box. The heaviness of the iron box makes all the difference in the result of the finished product.

The 'iron-man' and his wife do a fantastic job of ironing. The boy delivers the ironed clothes - nice and very crip, ready for use.

Those familiar with this service will know or recollect from memory the distinct smell of these ironed clothes. I guess the unique smell is from the old iron box, the coal, the backing cloth that is used on the ironing-board etc. I have come to associate this smell with crispness!

It costs Rs. 2.5/- (about 5 cents!) for a piece in this area. A piece can be a shirt, trouser, dress, etc. Sarees cost Rs. 6/- or more. Now, these prices may vary depending on the area. In apartment buildings, there is usually an 'iron-man' in the basement parking lot. And mostly he is there everyday of the week at your service.

My husband is actually in the heaven of ironed clothes now. :)

R2I - No ocean to keep families apart

The proximity of our near and dear ones is a big plus on returning home. Typically parents are getting old and their dependencies, increasing. It is very easy on the nerves to not have the oceans and mountains keeping you apart, especially when there is a health crisis.

Both hub and I are only kids to our respective parents and we wanted to be here for emergencies that might arise. I would have hated to receive a really tragic news in the middle of the night and not be able to come home right away. What with 2 young'uns and all. Though both sets of parents have visited us before, I didn't see it happening again cause of different health complications. And that wasn't comforting at all.

It is an absolute joy to watch the children interact and play with their grandparents. And it seems to be doing a whole lot of good to the grandparents as well. Something to keep them young and spirited .... company of the very young. The nearness and proximity is easy on their nerves as well. For them, the huge geographical divide and the tiring and long international air travels are things of the past. :)

R2I - Our boxes are here!

And it feels so surreal. All the meticulous packing in our Calif garage, then sending the boxes away in a truck and now seeing them here in our Bangalore home, feels strange. It took exactly 2 months for these boxes to travel the seas and get here.

We used WorldWide Ocean and Air Shipping Lines Inc. for shipping. We are really very happy with their service. They picked up the boxes from our Calif home and delivered it at home here. They also delivered it in the promised time frame. They kept the paper work easy and simple. After the boxes arrived here, my hubby had to go to the customs to get the boxes cleared, and pay some duty. Once the boxes were out of the customs, the shipping company did the rest of the delivery. It cost us about $1 per pound (lb), though that is not how they charged for the shipping.

Seeing our stuff from there made me miss our Calif home. We loved our home, the community, our wonderful neighbors, the beautiful mountains, park etc. When I missed everything, I was just glad that we still had our home there. We may never really go back for good, but when I do miss our home, I don't have to feel real terrible. :)

WalMart will be here

India's Bharti Group (yes, the same group that owns Airtel - the largest mobile service provider in India) struck a deal with US retail giant WalMart to launch the first mega-retail store joint venture in the country. The joint venture is apparently planning on several hundred stores across the country.

Other mega-retailers in the Indian market: Big Bazaar is a chain of super-stores in India currently with 29 outlets, owned by the Pantaloon Group. Reliance Fresh of Reliance Industries opened new retail stores in Hyderabad earlier this month. European-based Metro AG launched its wholesale Cash & Carry stores in Bangalore in 2003.

In a city like Bangalore, there really isn't the kind of space for a super-store within city-limits. That will push these stores to the periphery. The roads and the traffic make commute to and from anywhere a nightmare. That said, I am not sure how much of an effort a regular guy would make just to get to a WalMart. However, the current Big Bazaars are attracting a decent amount of crowd. People, I think, are making the extra effort to get to a Big Bazaar just for the novelty of it.

It is said that India has over 15 million small shops, the highest density of retail outlets in the world. The tie-up between WalMart and Bharti is meant to be a direct assault on these small shops. I don't see the super-stores completely taking over the small guys, only cause the small shops are such a part and parcel of everyday Indian life. People are used to just walking to the nearest mom-and-pop store to buy stuff. But if the retail giants do manage to uproot the smaller guys, that will change the Indian city scenario. I will definitely miss the India specific shopping experience if WalMarts become the norm. Ugh!

Regular small shops in Bangalore

The Bharti-WalMart venture promises low prices, especially for the estimated 300 million-strong middle class. It is reported that the regular shops are too small to offer the choice or discounts available to a major retailer that buys globally like WalMart. Yes, that maybe true. However, the personal feel of a small store can NEVER be got at a WalMart. It does look like the price and the novelty of a super-store is likely to decide the future of the Indian retail industry.

Big Plus: WalMart has been sourcing clothing and textiles worth billions of dollars from India. The continued exporting opportunity will definitely benefit India and Indians.

"The secret of successful retailing is to give your customers what they want" Sam Walton wrote in his autobiography. How much of that will hold true for the Indian consumer is to be seen!

Service at your doorstep

One of the best perks of living in Bangalore is that literally everything is delivered or available at your doorstep. The local grocers are more than happy to take your orders over the phone and get their boys to deliver the grocery right at your doorstep for free! So is the local pharmacist now. Trust Chemists and Druggists is a pharmacy chain in Bangalore. (I am not sure if they have stores in rest of India.) If you call and ask for a refill of your medicines or order over-the-counter medicines, you can have them delivered at your doorstep between 9 am and 9 pm. The only clause is the distance from the store to your home. As long as it is within reasonable distance, they will do it for free. The milk vendors deliver milk everyday for a nominal charge. And the newspapers are ofcourse delivered to your door.

Not to mention, the variety of hawkers/vendors who do their business on the streets. They sell all of these and more at your doorstep - vegetables, fruits, flowers, puffed rice, stainless steel pots and pans, plastic boxes and containers, cleaning supplies, sarees, some electrical appliances, etc.

A local vegetable hawker

Hawkers are a familiar sight on any Indian city/town street and often sell their produce/goods for a cheaper price than the store prices. The produce that they sell are fresh and good. One must not discount the personal interaction that comes with such a setup. Typically, hawkers have some regular customers, and provide their loyal services to these regulars. (The boy in the above pic comes by everyday to check if my mom needs any produce!)

Desi food in Des! Slurp! Slurp!

Nothing to beat it. Hot and Spicy ... very nice! From the 5 star hotels to the road side dhabhas/darshinis, food available here is simply superb. I had always HATED the coconut chutney served in the US, no matter how good the rest of the food was. And now here, I get to have the best spicy/hot coconut chutney. Finger-licking good!

The coconut chutney that eluded me! Yummy!

Not to mention having access to your mom's, MIL's, aunts', cousins' foods! And of course the temple and wedding foods! Yum, yum, yum! The full-fledged authentic meals served on banana leaves, now THAT is something you will never get in the US! If it was the banana leaf meals that I missed, it must be something else for another US Indian.

Special banana leaf meals

The bay area does have a decent number of temples and these temples do offer lots of food for people visiting the temple. However, the authenticity was what was missing from those foods, IMHO. Nothing like the specialty pulliyogre, laddoo, vada, etc that you get in the temples in India. This doesn't mean that I am a regular temple goer, hardly! But, when I do go, I definitely enjoy the authentic and yum-tasting prasads.

Lastly, being a vegetarian doesn't limit you in anyway when you are on the Indian road. :)